Classy Lee How to be classy and stay classy


Classy Colleagues

"I'm working at the Delta Skyclub in the airport. I went to get a beer and some old jackass sitting by me wouldn't move and made go around him. When he got up to go to the bathroom I farted on all of his stuff at his cubicle."

"Very Classy".

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Classy Revenge

Who was it that said, "Revenge is a dish best served cold,"?  Well, some people don't like cold dishes or the cold period, so how else could revenge best be served up?  A touch of class, perhaps?  Yes, we at Classy Lee definitely think so!

Even the classiest individuals can find themselves victim to a practical joke of some sort, including the writers of  Here is one such story:

One night after a long twelve hour shift at work, I was looking forward to getting into my car, heading off to the bar, getting drunk, and god only knows what else.  Upon approaching my car, I found that someone took the liberty of "decorating" my car with the following:

Cheap Shaving Cream - The shit at the store that comes in the generic can that costs less than a $1 for 16oz.
E.L Fudge Sandwich Cookies - Perfect dunking in an icy glass of milk, or for taking apart and sticking to both sides of someones car windows.
Toilet Paper - The good ole' prank staple, best used on devil's night for throwing in people's houses and trees.

While this was definitely a classy car job, it was not classy enough to meet my standards of class.  I promptly got on the phone, interrogated a few people, bought a pizza, and found out who "decorated" my car.  Now the question is, what's the best way to class-up my revenge?  After a moment of pondering and looking around my car I realized that I had a few items perfectly suited for the job.

One pint of transmission fluid - Perfect to have around if  you have a classy car that may have a leaky transmission pan.
One square of Buddy's Pizza - Oh so delicious, topped with pepperoni, ham, red pepper, garlic, and oregano.

With tools in hand, a plan, and an address I began my plight for revenge.  Upon arrival, it was 2:30am and everyone was asleep in the house which made it easy to sneak in to the back yard where a car was parked.  I decided that the car looked a bit "hungry" and decided to feed it the pizza. I really should have brought a bib for the car as it looked like the pizza sauce really could get all over the place.  I decided that maybe I should wash the car with transmission fluid after. I mean come on, that nice shiny dark red coating leaves it looking pretty nice in the moonlight.  Too bad the shininess fades away during the day. Oh well, it looked pretty nice at that point in time, so that was good enough for me.  After giving the car it's "bath", I stood back, admired how much classier this car looked, and then got the hell outta there.

Next morning, much to my surprise (not really) got a phone call "complimenting" me about how classy my assailant's car looked and how they were envious that they couldn't have made my car that classy especially with that whole transmission fluid and sunlight fading the paint thing.

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