Classy Lee How to be classy and stay classy

30Mar/11Off

Another Classy Date Conversation

Jenny:
Am I tight enough for you?

Grundle:
What do you mean exactly?

Jenny:
When you are in me, is it tight or can you tell I have had two kids?

Grundle:
Plenty tight. When I shove both of my hands inside your vag, I can't clap.

4Dec/09Off

Post-Coital Classiness

After a session of love-making, nothing beats talking and cuddling. Even the Classiest of us here at Classy-Lee enjoys those intimate moments shared with our partners after such beautiful acts of love.

Grundle:
"You’re trembling."

Gillian:
"I am."

Grundle:
"Are you cold?"

Gillian:
"No."

Grundle:
"Are you nervous?"

Gillian:
"No. Why? It’s not like we’re getting ready to butt-fuck."

30Nov/09Off

Classy Introduction

So, you got a new girlfriend. Things are going well and the relationship is progressing formidably. It is time for her to meet the parents. Fortunately for you, Class IS a hereditary attribute:

Mother Grundle (holding dog by front paws on lap):
"Look at the size of that schlong!"

Jill:
"OMG"

Grundle:
"MOM!"

Mother Grundle:
"No seriously. Look at the size of it. You can tell he's a Grundle".

Grundle:
"Always Classy, Ma. Always Classy."

Papa Grundle:
"Did I ever tell you about the time I shit in the shower?"

27Aug/09Off

Classy in Love

When choosing a partner, do not be superficial. Looks, intelligence, personality, money, compatibility, stability; these are things that you need not look for. Your #1 focus in a mate should solely be Classiness.

Finding a Classy partner is not always easy. The traits are hard to spot as some may consider the behavior as not-too-Kosher. Classy Lee recommends searching out the following:

1. Free Time – Quality time with your partner is important. Someone that cannot hold a regular job will have plenty of time to devote to you and your newly budded relationship.

2. Fun-Loving – Anyone that can combine alcohol, cocaine, and prescription medicines into a mind-numbing Blitzkrieg can surely find ways to keep you entertained.

3. Resourceful – Find someone that can go with the flow. Why pay to register your car when a simple screwdriver and a full parking lot can provide as many as you need. Be sure to take several and change them frequently. This will surely cut down on your jail time.

4. Criminal record – Find someone that is not afraid to “rock the boat”. Standing up to oppressive authorities will inspire generations of your inbred offspring. Hey, look at Gandhi.

Follow these simple guidelines and you too can share the Classiest of Classy relationships.

NOTE: Libraries and reputable places of business are not good to meet such Classy persons. We recommend the following:

Bars – Not the busy ones with lights on and stuff. Look for the ones in the city on corners that are boarded up and have cages over the doors and windows. Your mate will likely be milling around outside.

Parks – Not in the daytime. Go at night. Pay special attention to benches that seem to have a surplus of newspaper on them.

Gutters – Do I need to explain here?

Subways – Not on the train, but rather around the station. There are many nooks and crannies to hide in. Use the scent of old urine to help you to track them down.

Highway off-ramps – Easy. Just look for the person holding a squeegee.

Happy tail-hunting!