Classy Lee How to be classy and stay classy


Classy and Unhealthy

Sometimes your friends, family, and/or your significant other might say something to you about your health if you smoke, drink too much, or start putting on weight.  Any time that they choose to harass you while you are drinking (and probably getting fat in the process) you should firmly say the following:

"I'm drinking. I know I'm fat. Fuck off."

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A Classy (Yet Awfully Peculiar) Question

"Do you shit blood 6 times a day?"

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Classy bar conversation

Classy Lee and Danger decided to head to the bar for the evening.  This is always a classy event and below is an excerpt from a conversation about never getting sick:

Classy Lee: "I am invincible, I am like Wolverine."

Danger: "Yea, if Wolverine had STD's."

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Class up a work function

No matter where one is, it is of utmost importance to stay classy.  Below is an exert from a classy conversation that took place during a work function.  To set the scene, Danger is in an empty theatre with several beer taps at the concession stand:

Danger: "Why aren't they serving beer for this thing?"

Joe: "Dude, its 9am!"

Danger: "Ehh, those are just logistics."

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Classy observation

"Five long island ice teas ... that's how babies are made!!"
-Drunky Sue

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And now, a Classy quote

In response to a portly woman with teeth resembling Stonehenge (well at least the severely weathered parts):

"Man, that's hotter than Psoriasis".
-Classy Lee

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A Classy Snippet of a Classy Conversation

"Sleep is over rated, drinking however is not..."

"Drinking exercises your liver"

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Class up communication

When in the market for a new computer, one should seriously consider a laptop over a desktop. While it is definitely classy to call your friends from a phone while pooping, nothing says "I really care about you" like an e-mail from the shitter.

Classy Lee says: "’s kinda hard to take your desktop with you to the crapper."

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Class up eating at Abe’s

If after a fun drunken night in Ypsilanti you find yourself eating omelets at the ever classy establishment Abe's Coney Island, here's a little classy tip I learned tonight. If a strange man offers you some chili cheese fries the classiest response is: "Thanks, but I already took a shit today, I really don't need to take another."


Class up a classic adage of warning to make a point

Ever have a friend or family member that you knew who was going to make a big mistake and you really wanted to get your point across to them (with a bit of class, of course)? Put a spin on this classic adage of warning! All you need to say is this:

"You know, if you play with fire, you're bound to get burned. You sir however, are sticking your dick directly in the coals and stirring them."

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