Classy Lee How to be classy and stay classy


Classy Purge Part 2

How was your poop?

My son came in the room.
I had to cut it short and wipe it deep.


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Class Up a Fly Hunt

While you participate in an intellectual conversation, it is important to remain focused on the topic. As you begin to brainstorm for your turn in the conversation, you hear a loud buzz in your hear. It's a fly! A big fly! It's one of those big biting flies! Now your attention to the conversation is broken, and both you and the fly know that IT IS ON!

During a fly hunt it is important to remember that these buggers have roughly 4,000 eyes so they WILL see you coming. You might think, well should I take the silent sneaking approach? Answer: NO! The only way to do this is to go after a fly with reckless abandon.

As you start to sneak up on the fly, you notice it is conveniently stuck behind some very nice vertical blinds that you do not own. You start sneaking closer and closer. Precision is key, so throw caution to the wind and then shake the shit out of the blinds. Remember to also pound up against the glass as you attempt to kill or capture the fly without smashing it, as the goal of this mission is to give the fly a heart attack.

The other flies will realize you are not a sniper and instead are a wide-spreading grenade.  They will make sure to stay clear.

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Class up sitting

When eying up a selection of chairs one usually chooses the safest, most comfortable selection and gracefully takes a seat.  To class up your sitting, Classy Lee suggests "sitting with confidence".

This means finding anything that resembles a chair and forcefully thrusting your ass upon it.  Pay no attention to the safety of you or others around you.  Don't you dare worry about damaging someone else's property.  When it is time to sit it is time to sit!  You will catch the eye of everyone at the social gathering, and only thing in their heads will be, "My, that sir or lady is truly confident when it comes to picking a sitting location".

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Class up a BBQ

When using a grill for some good old fashioned cooking most will do so with care, not to damage the grill or burn the food.  Classy Lee suggests just the opposite.  In fact it is much classier to forcefully throw open the top to the grill and let it crash into the bushes behind it.  This ensures that your meat of choice slides directly into the path of the flame thus allowing for an optimal cooking environment.

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